Insecurities
by Passionate Angel229
Summary: Episode: Surprise, but Buffy and Angel don't go all the way. What happens when Buffy thinks she can't compete to Angel's years of having women........?
1. Chapter 1

"Buffy, maybe we shouldn't," Angel panted, as he pulled back from Buffy and their kiss.

"You're…..you're right, we shouldn't," Buffy agreed, picking up her top and rushing to the door.

"Where are you going? The judge could be loose, or Dru might be looking for you," Angel questioned, grabbing her arm and pulling her back to him.

"I really have to go, and I'm sorry," Buffy apologised, as she tore her arm away from his touch and ran out the door. Angel ran after her.

"Buffy! Buffy, where are you going!" Angel shouted, as he grabbed her. He was disappointed at the change of mood, he had so desperately graved her and he let her slip away. Again.

"I just have to go Angel. I'm just going home," Buffy said, turning to face him. She was embarrassed at her actions and she really didn't feel like being around him at the moment. She pulled him into a hug, to reassure him. "I'm fine. Thankyou for the clothes."

"At least let me walk you?" Angel whispered, not breaking the last bit of contact he had with Buffy.

"No!" Buffy snapped, as she let him go. "I'm sorry, but I'll be fine. I am a big girl you know?" Buffy joked, apologising for her tone of voice.

"I know that, it's just, I worry," Angel said, as he slid his arms around her waist.

"And I worry about you," Buffy said, as she slid a finger down his nose. She slipped out of his grasp and put some distance between them. "I'll see you around," Buffy whispered, as she walked of into the distance.

"Yeah, See ya," Angel muttered, as he reluctantly turned back to his apartment building.

"I'm telling you Will, I tried and I was rejected," Buffy pouted over the phone. She had just got home and decided to ring Willow.

"What! Really? I mean, doesn't he want you?" Willow asked sceptically.

"I don't know Will, I mean I wanted to. Really wanted to, but he was like 'maybe we shouldn't.' I was really embarrassed Will, I had to leave straight away. I don't think I'll be able to face him again," Buffy complained, as she plonked down onto her bed.

"Buffy, don't be so dramatic. He loves you, and he said so himself, so there's no need to worry."

"Will, he doesn't want me. I mean, yeah it would have been my first time and yeah, he's been with dozen of….of. Oh Will, how can I compete with that?" Buffy cried, as she curled up on her bed.

"Buffy, don't worry about it. You'll think that its just a dream and maybe it turns out to be. Otherwise, we'll talk about it tomorrow. I really have to get some sleep."

"Goodnight Will," Buffy said, as she hung up the phone.

"Buffy, are you alright?" Giles asked, as she entered the library. He noticed that she had tears stains on her face.

"I'm fine, just girls stuff," Buffy said, as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Right, a Willow subject," Giles conceded.

"Yip," Buffy chirped, as she chucked her bag onto the table and took a seat.

"So, what happened last night? I didn't hear from you," Giles asked, as he placed a couple of books onto a shelf. Buffy tensed.

"Oh, the judge is assembled and ready to go. Dru is still as mad as hell and I'm still little ol' Buffy," Buffy replied. She turned to the door and noticed her friends walk in.

"Hey, the Buffster is back from her trip to the big blue in Sunnydale," Xander said, as he hung an arm around Cordelia's shoulders and took a seat.

"Hey," Buffy replied casually. "Will, can I talk to you?"

"Sure," Willow said, as she untangled herself from Oz.

"You guys keep thinking of a way to kill the judge," Buffy said over her shoulder, as she and Willow left to go to the girl's room.

"So Will, comfort," Buffy pleaded, as she looked into all the stalls to see if anyone was there.

"Buffy, you're being paranoid," Willow said, trying to calm her friend.

"I'm not being paranoid!" Buff screamed. "How can he love me, but not want me?"

"Buffy!" Willow shouted, shaking her friend. "He does want you; I just think that he doesn't want to rush you!"

"But……but, I was ready," Buffy complained, as she pulled out of Willow's grasp.

"Buffy, you really do have to talk to him," Willow stated, as she gathered some toilet paper to use as tissues.

"I can't. Every time I'm around him, it's as if this mystic force comes over me and…..and I just feel that if I'm around him to long now, I'll end up jumping him. I don't know if I can control it, plus, every time I'm around him I go bright red," Buffy cried, as tears freely flowed from her face.

"Oh Buffy, it's gonna be okay," Willow whispered, tears forming in her own eyes.

"I don't know what to do. What if he comes to my house?" Buffy asked, as she looked up into Willow's eyes.

"Well, why don't you stay with me tonight? That's if you're mum doesn't mind," Willow said.

"Oh Will! You are the best," Buffy said, as she hugged Willow tightly. "Now, how to get out of slay duty?" Buffy asked, her mood lightening slightly.

"Let's just say Giles owes me a favour," Willow winked, as she helped Buffy clean up and then joined the rest of the group.

"So, who has an idea?" Buffy asked, as she and Willow entered.

"Xander," Cordelia stated, looking Buffy up and down. "We need to talk later."

"What about?" Buffy asked, shocked at the question.

"Some one," Cordelia said. "Can I stay at you're house tonight Willow?"

"You, Chase wants to stay at my house," Willow asked, shocked at the question.

"We need to spend some girl time together," Cordelia commented.

"F….fine, but Buffy's staying all so," Willow stated.

"Sure," Cordelia said, as she turned her attention back to a flabbergasted Xander. "You're idea?"

"Yes well, I need you and a van," Xander stated, as he looked towards Oz.

"Well, lets go," Oz said, as he got up and headed to the door.

"Okay," Xander and Cordelia said, as they followed.

"Yeah, I have to go to. Gotta get home before dark," Buffy stated happily, as she skipped out the door.

"Buffy's gonna skip patrol tonight, if that's okay?" Willow asked, as she packed up her gear.

"Fine, whats wrong with her Willow? I noticed that she didn't seem quite herself," Giles asked gently, as he took a seat at one of the tables.

"Just……..just personal stuff," Willow commented.

"You mean Angel," Giles said, seeing the shock on Willow's face just made him smile. "I am not completely oblivious to my slayer and her personal business."

"It's just so difficult between them at times. I mean, anyone can tell that their made for each other but still, it's hard," Willow said sadly, leaning on the seat.

"I know, but I've discovered a clause in his curse. I fixed it of course, without him knowing and hopefully they can get over this fight," Giles said.

"Hopefully, but I have to go. Bye," Willow said, as she left.

"Bye," Giles replied.

"Goodnight Buffy and Willow," Cordelia said, as she pulled her eyes mask down and drifted off to sleep.

"Goodnight," Buffy said, as she curled herself into a ball and drifted off into a light sleep.

"Goodnight," Willow whispered, as she pulled her blankets above her. As she was just about to drift off, a knock came on her sliding door. Willow slightly tensed, not knowing who was there. She slowly got out of bed and tried to remember one of her protective spells she had learned. She slowly pulled back the curtains and saw a familiar figure. "Angel," Willow whispered, as she slowly opened the door.

"Willow, Sorry to disturb you so late but have you seen Buffy. I didn't see her on patrol and when I went to her house, she wasn't there and then I thought Dru and the judge had gotten her and so I came here first to see if you knew or….." Angel started to babble.

"Angel," Willow said again to get his attention. Once she knew she had it, she opened the door wider to reveal Buffy.

"Oh," Angel said, as he looked at her.

"Angel, I think you need to talk to her," Willow stated, as she walked out the door and into the night.

"Why? Is she upset about something?" Angel asked, already in motion to Willow's door.

"No," Willow said, as she stopped him. "I mean yeah, she is upset about something but I don't think I can tell you. Angel, you need to learn to trust yourself, to learn take what you want."

"What……….what do you mean?" Angel asked, as he turned his attention towards Willow.

"It's just………………it's just that Buffy thinks that…………..that, oh I don't think I should be saying this," Willow exasperated, as she took a seat on the bench.

"No, what were you going to say?" Angel pushed, taking a seat next to her.

"It's just that Buffy doesn't think you want her," Willow said, as she stood up again, feeling as if she betrayed her friend.

"What!" Angel shouted, standing also. "What do you mean she thinks that I don't want her?"

"Well, how old were you when you were turned?" Willow asked curiously.

"What does that have to do with it?" Angel asked, through tight teeth.

"Angel," Willow stated sternly.

"I was 24," Angel said, as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Right, and then add on a couple more centuries and you've got a 260 year old boyfriend on you're hands," Willow stated gently.

"Yeah, and?" Angel asked.

"Well-" Willow started, but was interrupted by Cordelia coming out.

"Willow, what are you doing out here?" Cordelia asked sleepily. She noticed someone else, "With Angel."

"Hey Cordelia, we were just talking," Willow said, as she lead her to the bedroom only to get to the door.

"About Buffy?" Cordelia asked, pushing past Willow and back towards Angel.

"How did you know?" Willow asked sceptically.

"How does anybody not know!" Cordelia exasperated. "Let me guess, she thinks that Angel doesn't want her but he thinks that she doesn't want him?"

"How did you know?" Angel asked quietly.

"Oh, I'm just good at looking and listening," Cordelia stated. "Look, I'm only doing this because she's saved the world and she probably deserves some kind of happiness and I've never seen anyone bring it out in her except Angel. Here's my advice and you better listen to it because I am the slayer of dating, ask anyone. Okay, every girl has a fantasy of their love, and I think I know Buffy's," Cordelia said mysteriously.

"What's that?" Angel asked, listening very carefully.

"Yes Cordelia, please tell," Buffy snarled, as she leaned on the door frame.

"Buffy, I-" Cordelia tried to explain.

"No, save it Cordy. I think I should go," Buffy explained, gathering her things and leaving. "And don't you dare follow Angel!"

"Buffy, where are you gonna go?" Willow asked, looking sadly from Angel to Buffy.

"I don't know Will, I just need time," Buffy whispered, as she started walking away. "I'll call you."

"Buffy-" Angel said, starting to follow her but was stopped by Cordelia.

"Let her go," Cordelia warned.

"Buffy? I didn't expect to see you here after what Willow told me," Giles said, flabbergasted.

"Well, I decided last night that I should face my problems head on," Buffy said, taking a seat on the table.

"And, what would these problems be?" Giles asked sceptically.

"Just girly issues," Buffy brushed off. "Look, can you cover for me for a couple of days? For school, mum and slaying?"

"Um, what for?" Giles asked, taking off his glasses.

"Well, I plan to be in bed for a very, very long time," Buffy winked suggestively, slowly getting off the table.

"Are you sick, can….can I get you anything?" Giles asked, rushing to her.

"No don't worry about it," Buffy huffed, gathering her school things.

"Well, um, I hope you get better," Giles said, waving to her.

"Giles, who you waving too?" Willow asked, coming into the library.

"Um, Buffy. She said that she plans on being in bed for a very, very long time," Giles said, looking at Willow for an explanation.

"Huh?" Willow said, as a smiled crossed her face. "And you're sure you fixed Angel's clause?"

"Yes, but why would I-Oh! Oh! Willow, are you sure?" Giles asked, putting some books away.

"Well, I think I know my best friend," Willow said, walking back out of the library.

"Hold on!" a muffled voice called from behind the door.

"Angel?" Buffy asked, slowly opening the door.

"Buffy? Uh, what are you doing here? It's day, and….and you have school," Angel stuttered, quickly putting on a shirt.

"I had an epiphany," Buffy stated, sliding her finger along his shelving.

"An epiphany?" Angel asked, slowly getting closer to her.

"About us," Buffy said, walking right up to him.

"About us?" Angel asked, as she pressed her body up next to his.

"Yes, about us," Buffy nodded, smiling at his worried expression. "Angel, do you love me?"

"You know I do," Angel purred, leaning down for a kiss. She pulled her head out of his reach; he let out a quiet growl.

"And you'd do anything to see me happy?" Buffy asked, pouting a little bit.

"Uh huh," Angel nodded, looking intensively at her lips.

"And you'd give me what ever I want?" Buffy asked, nodding her head up and down.

"Whatever," Angel nodded enthusiastically.

"Show me the demon," Buffy stated calmly.

"No," Angel said, getting out of his trance.

"Angel," Buffy warned, placing her hands on her hips.

Angel looked at her, and then slowly complied. She caught him off guard, by grabbing his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. The kiss turned from gentle to passionate, and he stumbled onto the floor.

"I accept you for who you are, and what you are," Buffy stated, gathering her breathes. "I love all of you baby," Buffy whispered, sitting up so she was straddling his waist.

"Buffy, maybe we should-"

"Just kiss me," Buffy ordered, lowering her head to his. She smiled as he happily obliged, and hungrily kissed her back.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy awoke to find Angel staring at her from above; smiling lovingly at her. She remembered their night of passion, and blushed at her boldness to start it; causing Angel to stifle a laugh. "Shut up," Buffy said, playfully punching him on the chest.

"But it's so cute," Angel smiled, brushing his hand over her cheek. He had been watching her for awhile, and he couldn't have been happier; she was lovely when she slept.

"What's the time?"

"Um, 8," Angel stated, looking over at his alarm clock.

"Mmmm, that's good. Sleepy time for Buffy," Buffy whispered, her eyes closing ever so slightly.

"Go back to sleep Mo chroi," Angel murmured, himself dozing off.

The lovebirds were awoken by a banging on the door, and Buffy rushed to open it; only to slam it closed again. She turned her shocked face to Angel only to see the same face on his. Cautiously reopening the door, she regarded the occupant. "I thought I told you to leave and never come back?"

"Well, that was before I got a bloody chip in my brain ain't it?" Spike asked sarcastically, pushing past her into the apartment. He looked Buffy once over and then turned to Angel, "See, you're still your old self Angelus. Shagging the unexpected."

"Excuse me!" Buffy asked, her anger rising as she stalked towards the bleached blonde.

"Oi Angelus, get your mate off of me," Spike said, retreating behind Angel.

"Buffy, calm down," Angel soothed, gathering her in his arms; much for her benefit and his own. "What do you want Spike?"

"No need to get your panties in a twist," Spike stated, sitting on the couch, "or the slayers for that matter." Spike smirked as this got another huff from Buffy. "Well, I came back to Sunnydale to show the slayer what what, and then this bloody military wanker captured me. Woke up, tried to get some descent food and I find out I can't bloody eat! It's not enough I have to get over the bloody head with an axe, I also can't get any food!"

"Y..You mean to tell us, that you can't feed?" Buffy asked, pulling out of Angel arms to inch closer to Spike.

"Yes, I can't feed! How many times will I have to tell you bloody wankers?"

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha," Buffy laughed, tears coming to her eyes. "Wi-William the Bloody can't feed!"

"Shut it!"

"Peroxide boy, can't be a vampire!"

"Pansy!"

"Better to be a pansy than a vampire you can't bite!"

"What! You bloody well better run, you-"

"Enough!" Angel roared, making both Buffy and Spike stop their incessant squabbling. "God, you guys are acting very childish. Buffy it's very serious what Spike has because these military people are obviously from the government. Which means the government know the existence of demons and other things; and I don't think they care if the demons they capture are good, their killing them. Now Spike is my childe, so I am obligated to help. But Spike, be warned, touch one hair on any of Buffy's friends or family or herself, and you'll be facing the consequences," Angel said very sternly, feeling like a father.

"Yes sire."

"Yes Angel."

"Good, now let's go to the library. Maybe Giles can help," Angel instructed, leading the trio outside.


	3. Key meets Vamp

Hey guys! I'm real sorry about the weird time periods but I wanted Spike to be in Season 2 and have the initiative in that season coz I love him with the chip in. I put Dawn in as well because this is a Spike/Dawn shipper and I love how they can stir Angel and Buffy up. If there are still problems with the time period, email me and I'll tell you why I did it. Please read & review!

"Giles! Giles!" Buffy called, entering the library followed by Angel and Spike. She was shocked to see her sister Dawn here; seeming to be reading an old book, she never saw the tears in her eyes. "Dawn, what are you doing here?"

"Unless I'm mistaken Buffy, I go to school here," Dawn snidely remarked, wiping the fresh tears from her eyes. She didn't want Buffy to see her cry; or Angel for that matter.

"Right well ah, have you seen Giles?"

"Office," Dawn stated, not taking her eyes of the peroxide haired person she brought in with her. She noticed he stayed behind as Angel and Buffy went to find Giles. "So, what's with you?"

"Well, I ah, I don't need to answer questions from a bratty girl," Spike smirked, seeing her shocked expression; he suddenly got nervous as the expression change to anger.

"Yeah? Well, how's this for bratty?" Dawn asked, steeping out from behind the counter and sending a very powerful punch to Spikes jaw; sending him flying into the bookcases. Dawn was out of there before anyone saw, but she left a stunned and fairly impressed Spike behind.

"The bints got power," Spike whispered to himself, rubbing his jaw as he slowly got up.

"Spike? What did you do?" Buffy asked, her anger rising as she saw the mess the vampire made.

"I-I-I bloody well tripped," Spike covered, thinking it better he keep the bits secret for awhile.

"Did you have to make such a mess?"

Dawn waked busily down the halls of Sunnydale High school thinking of that cocky bleached-blonde hunk. _'Hunk? Where'd that come from?_ Dawn asked herself confusedly, knowing that she was not attracted to that vampire. Walking into her class, she sat down and thought of what she found out in that book. _I'm the Key, sent to the slayer to protect. How could she not have told me, she hasn't even noticed my strength and reflexes? Well, when I show her, she'll be surprised._


End file.
